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Private Message to Cho
Oct. 12th, 2012 08:38 pmWe really need to get together and talk sometime this weekend.
I haven’t been a very good boyfriend recently. I know I withdrew this summer rather than talk to you or really anyone about what happened at the end of last year. Since being at school it’s been really hard to find time to be together with all of our various responsibilities.
I feel like the future is battering at me like a rogue bludger and I don’t have beaters keeping it off me. The end of school is coming up and I know what I want to do (Quidditch obviously), but don’t know if I’ll be recruited. I keep having other ideas, building magical stuff with custom enchanting, medi-wizardry planning to try and work for a Quidditch team, and others. But it’s all stuff that take either a pile of galleons with a huge chance of failure if you don’t start with patronage (and you know that’s not coming from my family) or years more training. So I really don’t know what I’ll do with myself if I don’t get recruited.
There are so many expectations that others pile on me, being my parents’ eldest son, being Head Boy, being Quidditch Captain and of course having been a Triwizard Champion with its … complications. All that makes my prospects really difficult, particularly if people think I haven’t lived up to expectations. I know being made Head Boy means that many of the important people who might have taken offence haven’t actually done so, but I’m so afraid that whatever I choose to try and do with my life someone will decide they don’t like me or the choices I’ve made and whatever prospects I’ve managed to build will vanish overnight.
With all of this I don’t think it’s right for me to drag someone else along with me on the sputtering broom of my future. I wish I could write all this better and make you understand. We really need to sit down, soon, maybe Saturday afternoon, and talk about about us and where we go from here.
Cedric
I haven’t been a very good boyfriend recently. I know I withdrew this summer rather than talk to you or really anyone about what happened at the end of last year. Since being at school it’s been really hard to find time to be together with all of our various responsibilities.
I feel like the future is battering at me like a rogue bludger and I don’t have beaters keeping it off me. The end of school is coming up and I know what I want to do (Quidditch obviously), but don’t know if I’ll be recruited. I keep having other ideas, building magical stuff with custom enchanting, medi-wizardry planning to try and work for a Quidditch team, and others. But it’s all stuff that take either a pile of galleons with a huge chance of failure if you don’t start with patronage (and you know that’s not coming from my family) or years more training. So I really don’t know what I’ll do with myself if I don’t get recruited.
There are so many expectations that others pile on me, being my parents’ eldest son, being Head Boy, being Quidditch Captain and of course having been a Triwizard Champion with its … complications. All that makes my prospects really difficult, particularly if people think I haven’t lived up to expectations. I know being made Head Boy means that many of the important people who might have taken offence haven’t actually done so, but I’m so afraid that whatever I choose to try and do with my life someone will decide they don’t like me or the choices I’ve made and whatever prospects I’ve managed to build will vanish overnight.
With all of this I don’t think it’s right for me to drag someone else along with me on the sputtering broom of my future. I wish I could write all this better and make you understand. We really need to sit down, soon, maybe Saturday afternoon, and talk about about us and where we go from here.
Cedric
